In my practice, as a Clinical Psychologist in Bloemfontein, I offer the service of creating parenting plans. A parenting plan is a written agreement drafted by parents with the assistance of an independent third party, such as a psychologist, social worker, or family lawyer. The role of the third party is to act as a mediator by determining the best interest of the child, which is always of paramount importance. The South African Children’s Act 38 of 2005 provided that parents can enter into such written agreements, outlining the parental responsibilities and rights of each parent after separation or divorce. The Act also stated that it must be in a certain format and deal with specific issues, such as:
- Living arrangements;
- Maintenance;
- Contact between the child and any other person;
- Schooling and religious upbringing.
The purpose of parenting plans
Parenting plans are aimed at protecting the emotional, physical, interpersonal, and financial well-being of the child. However, it may also protect parents from parental alienation. Overall, it serves to protect the best interest of the child principle as set out in the Children’s Act.
When should parents consider drawing up a parenting plan?
Parenting plans can be drawn up at any time after a romantic relationship has ended. Thus, it can be done after a divorce has been finalized or even before parents file for a divorce. Divorce is also not as simple as it seems – there are many different types of divorce, such as:
- Geographic divorce: This type of divorce occurs when parents move into two separate homes or occupy two separate bedrooms. A geographic divorce can last months or years and may be very traumatising for a child.
- Financial divorce: This occurs when the assets or finances of a couple become completely separated.
- Sexual divorce: This occurs when there is a lack of sexual intimacy as a result of various factors, for example, infidelity or conflict. This may lead to resentment, anger, or bitterness and negatively impact children.
- Emotional divorce: This occurs when there is a complete emotional detachment or a lack of emotional intimacy between parents.
Even parents who were never legally married should also consider creating a parenting plan.
The content of a parenting plan
Any parenting plan should contain the following information:
- Biographical information of all parties involved (names, ages, residential addresses, contact details);
- Residence and contact arrangements. This includes arrangements regarding weekends, weekdays, vacations, public holidays, birthdays of the child, and the birthdays of parents;
- Maintenance arrangements;
- Extra mural activities (who will be responsible for transporting the child to these activities or any additional costs);
- The religious upbringing of the child;
- Arrangements regarding extended family contact or visits;
- The medical, dental, or psychological needs of the child (who will be responsible for the costs or decisions in this regard);
- The routine of the child;
- Arrangements in the case of the death of one or both parents;
- The timeframe for re-evaluations of the parenting plan;
- Consequences of non-adherence to the parenting plan.
Can a parenting plan become a legally binding document?
Yes, a parenting plan can become legally binding by registering it with a Family Advocate or making it an Order of the Court. However, it has to be in the prescribed format, as set out in the Children’s Act.
How will the cost of a parenting plan be determined?
The cost of parenting plans may differ and is dependent on the following factors:
- The number of hours required for mediation
- The number of sessions required to agree on the content of the parenting plan
- The number of hours it took to write and draft the parenting plan
In conclusion, parenting plans are essential to protect the best interests of the child and to minimize conflict as a result of poor communication and unclear parental rights and responsibilities.
